Go Fourth.

I've been thinking about what to say; I keep deleting paragraphs because I'm not satisfied with it. Life can be hard for a writer. 

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A HUGE NOTE TO SELF: read that damn script from top to bottom. Those are the things you absolutely need to know. Ask questions if you're confused, but never ever ask something that can be answered simply by looking at the script.

But it's also good that at least I made the mistake here, because that means I'll remember it and will never do that again in the real world.

Oh and one more thing: do your homework, but do it the right away. A.k.a. ask the right questions. Sometimes we might not know we're heading to the detour and we'll end up getting worked up in the wrong way. Be smart about how you prepare yourself.

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Sometimes I'm amazed by how lucky and fortunate to get to where I am today. It might sounds ridiculous to some people, but I won't have a lot of regrets if for whatever reason I can't be an actor anymore. For the past five years I have been through some tremendous moments that I will never forget, and I can even argue that at moments got to be in a place that many actors wouldn't even dare to think about in their wildest dreams. That teaches me to be humble - be humble about the experiences, be humble to the people, and never take anything for granted.

This might not sound like it is related to acting, but I'd like to share it. If I can have a motto, it would be: Be as nice as you possibly can to others. But do it more for yourself, so that at the end of the day you're comfortable with yourself and you can put away many worries. It got me far enough. But don't be nice to people and expect them to return it with a huge favor. Try not to function like that. Treat everything good that comes along to you as a surprise or as a genuine gesture from others, and keep that in mind. This is how I carry myself as a human being and as a professional. 

3rd Entry: Some mumble jumble

You only have one line. Nothing more. Get into the story. Get real. Do anything you possibly can to emerge yourself into that situation. Who are you? Where are you at? What time is it? Who are you talking to? Is this the first time you meet? If it isn't, when / where / what happened the last time? If it is, what do you think about the person talking to you and standing in front of you?

I had to create a whole scenario for that one line, "your re-birthday". Sure, it all happened in 20 minutes from the moment I got the script until the moment I'm going for real in front of the camera. I still have some tensions and I can still delve into the situation more, but what the hell, it worked. Kind of. I did all I can in that 20 minutes. It's all one can ask for. 

Sometimes it seemed like the best question to ask myself is, "Do you care what's happening right now?" or, "Are you saying this like you mean it?" It's simple, but it seems like they work most of the time. Sometimes I also ask "what are you really saying?"

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I was watching The Expendables 2 the other day just because, and there was a young guy mingling in Stallone's macho, grumpy, all-action ensemble. His name is Billy the Kid. His actual name is Liam Hemsworth. He only had about 20 minutes (max) of screen-time, and there was a moment when his character was talking about being in Iraq and being fed up about losing dear comrades and dealing with abusive commanders. Not that true acting always mattered in a popcorn movie, but hey, he was truthful in his monologue. I felt it. 

Note to self: no matter what I do, even if it's a McDonalds commercial where there's literally no character at all, find one and be one. Do it like I mean it. I might go further than I thought.

2nd Class: That (bleep) camera

I sometimes find myself to be too superficial. I concentrate too much on making it "real", forgetting the fact that every word I say needs to have a certain weight. I need to find that weight, remember it, and I need to stop thinking about it.

The camera can be unforgiving. It picks up the most minute things and call you bluff. I certainly had that feeling the last time I saw myself in class. It wasn't disastrous, though. It's more like carelessness on my behalf. I say "carelessness" because I have not make the monologue my own. Where am I? Who am I talking to? What am I talking about? I need to ask myself the same questions my classmates and I would ask to our students in the classes we teach. And what's more, you never end the discovery part.

With that being said, it was truly a humbling experience. It made me understood what it takes to be truthful. It is also very helpful to see where our individual tensions hold on your face and neck and the rest of the body that is in the line of sight. Maybe Alexander technique would be a great tool to solve those problems. There's also this thing called "breathing".

Conclusion: always be better than you were yesterday. Or at least try to be that.

Onwards and upwards.

Jan. 14th: 1st Day.

Oh good Jesus. It's 7 PM already. Gotta get up. Gotta write that blog entry. Up yours, jet lag. 

When you have a 14-hour time difference you need to adjust in a few days, life can be quite blurry. 

This is the day which I like to call "the beginning of the end". We are just merely months away from getting our diploma. Of course, there's also the thesis and other things you have to go through, but it's something, isn't it? Getting a degree. And a degree like this is called a "terminal degree", which means this is the farthest you can do academic wise in your own field. Whew. I sometimes want to throw my hands up and say, "Well, gee, don't look at me, man, I just got here. I don't know nothin' about this." But of course you can't behave like this in front of your undergrad class. Get yourself together, Jason.

Despite everything else, I think I love acting. I think I like doing this more than any other stuff. It doesn't necessarily means that I'm always working hard when I'm on it - I have my flaws - but it seems like there's nothing else I'd rather do. Sometimes that's enough, isn't it? To have something you really love to do and being able to do it. And I'm doing it now. What a huge blessing it is.

I like our first day. It was very warm and friendly and humane. I like to listen to people's interesting facts, I love the instructor being very approachable and friendly and honest, and I like the energy in the room. It made me felt secure. It filled me with positive thoughts. I still have to look at that NPR thing in a minute, but it's a very good start, I think. I'll put my (metaphorical) pen down for now, but before I go, here's something that I'd like to share. Listen to him speak the thing he loves.

http://youtu.be/YaVwKN8DdkI?t=1h18m1s